waittt!! n take a minute

stop whatever you are doing right now. think about all the people in your life. think about this year. it was a hard one wasn’t it? but here is the thing, those people you just thought about, the important ones, they are still here. you are still here.  when times get rough realize that you are so unbelievably lucky to have those around you;who you love and that you are lucky for getting to breathe still. life is going to have those bad years, but having the ones we love around us make them just a little less harsher.

a sad thing about life is that when you meet someone who
means a lot to you only to find out in the end that it was never
bound to be and you just have to let go..:(

 maybe ALLAH wants us to meet a few wrong people before
meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right
person, we should know how to be grateful for that gift..

**happy new year from me..:)

one day maybe i'll believe u...

I often try to let the men that get to know me know my negative qualities. Why? Because, I don’t want them to fall for the perfect me they’ve imagined. Yes it is true that I am kind beyond measure, compassionate, honest, and strong. This is not an act, because it is who I am, but it is not all of me. I feel like I’ve lost all ability to love romantically. When I get close to it, I start to over-think it and make it feel wrong. I’m manipulative, impulsive, and care primarily for self-preservation. I do what I want, when I want it, because at that moment it feels right. Without thought to the future, without a glance at the past. I am not a completely heartless being perhaps, I warn them in advance. I tell them not to become emotionally caught up in who I am because my emotions will likely only go as far as friends. To those I have particularly grown fond of, i protect them further. They try and convince me that they could make me happy, they could be the one for me. I turn them down, not because I do not believe what they say to be true, but because I do not believe that I could give them the same in return. I do not feel as though I could make them happy. I have forgotten what it was like to be devoted to one man, to love him more than anything in my life. I have become too self-centered, too shallow to allow it. I am frightened for myself, frightened that I may never give myself the chance to love again. Most of all I’m just scared of pushing so many people away that I end up alone. I am horrible, angry, bitter, selfish, why can’t they see that? Perhaps it is because my positive qualities outweigh my negatives. Perhaps they are just so love-struck that they’ve blinded themselves from it. I just want someone to see me, see how despicable I can be and tell me to my face. Tell me I’ve become a heartless bitch. Tell me I could never make you happy because I’m too selfish, self-centered, and power-hungry. See me please. If you still love me after all that, maybe I’ll believe you..I'm SORRY MR Ar... R......(U know who u are)..